This is my Damon/Delena centric Tumblr and I roleplay Damon Salvatore on twitter. Damon is a connoisseur of spirits, the sentry of Elena's heart, he does not sparkle, sarcasm and skepticism included. I also dislike Katherine, Datherine, and Klaroline. Team Elena always.

 

I remember a SEr saying they hope that if Damon has a birthday that Stefan kills his best friend in front of his face.

First off, Damon’s best friend already died in his arms and simultaneously he knew his true love died too because they both were linked. Not that Stefan is a better person than Damon but I don’t think Stefan would be able to do that to Damon. What Damon did was horrible and Stefan was hurt as a result.. (though my person feelings about Lexi are that I Hate that damn bitch and she was the worst friend ever) Damon over the course of regaining his humanity does feel remorse for his actions, for hurting Stefan, and taking away someone Stefan loves. I think losing Alaric gave Damon a new perspective on what it meant for his brother to lose his best friend. But Damon can’t change what he did. Nobody can change their past. I don’t think Stefan would get much out of making Damon suffer the way he did when Lexi died. Damon doesn’t really do apologies but I’m sure Stefan knows Damon regrets what he did. They don’t really agree on much, they can be mean or disagreeable or get into fights but they have an unspoken bond and most of all they love one another.

Infatuation vs Love

•Definition:

♦Infatuation: is the state of being completely lost in the emotion of unreasoning desire.

♦Love: A decision to commit oneself to another and to work through conflicts instead of giving up.

•Associated with:

♦Infatuation: Selfish uncontrollable desire.

♦Love: Physical chemistry over a fairly long period of time.

•Sub-Categories:

♦Infatuation: Short lived physical desire, crush, lust, hormonal activity, or addictive chemical reactions in the brain. Not revived with the same person without a deeper feeling.

♦Love: Intimacy, commitment, security, the desire to please and help the other person.

•Symptoms:

♦Infatuation: Urgency, intensity, sexual desire, anxiety, high risk choices, reckless abandonment of what was once valued.

♦Love: Faithfulness, loyalty, confidence. Willingness to make sacrifices for another. Working at settling differences. Able to compromise so that either both win or at least give the other person’s opinion a chance.

•Person to Person:

♦Infatuation: Reckless commitment to satisfy one’s all consuming lust.

♦Love: Commitment to another. Genuine intentions. Think about other person’s feelings before acting.

•Feels like:

♦Infatuation: All-consuming euphoria similar to recreational drug use (addictive chemical reactions in the brain), stupidity (cupidity). Can risk everything for the next hit of adrenalin.

♦Love: A deep affection, contentment, confidence. Partners communicate and negotiate appropriate expectations. Requires a lot of selflessness and polite assertiveness. You are loving your best friend.

•Result:

♦Infatuation: Emptiness, consequences of choices made while under the influence of mind numbing temporary lust.

♦Love: Security, peace, a solid partnership which can provide the ideal atmosphere to raise confident secure children.

•Effect:

♦Infatuation: Being controlled by brain chemistry, not the heart, loss of ability to make rational evaluations of what is true, valuable and worthy.

♦Love: Contentment, stability.

•Interdependency:

♦Infatuation: Cannot be sustained without some portion of love and physical attraction. Desire to be always close to that person at any cost.

♦Love: Partnership. Can lead to codependency if not tempered with self-awareness and self-guidedness.

•Time Period:

♦Infatuation: Takes off fast and furious like a spark in dry grass burns out quickly and can leave feelings of emptiness.

♦Love: It will deepen with the passsage of time.

•Commitment:

♦Infatuation: This is temporary in life and goes off after some period.

♦This is permanent commitment and stays throughout the life.

•Bottom Line:

♦Infatuation: is delusional.
Not real.

♦Love: is unconditional
and the real deal.

•Patience:

♦Infatuation: is of the now.

♦Love: is a gradual process.
It happens over time.

Source: http://www.diffen.com/difference/Infatuation_vs_Love

How to Know if You’re Infatuated

Examine whether you treat the object of your interest as a person or a thing. When you experience infatuation, your mind is consumed by thoughts of the other person. You’re thinking not only about the other person but also about how you want to reveal yourself to the other person. You have an idealized vision of what this person is like, and your vision may or may not be accurate.

Evaluate how secure you feel. Instead of feeling secure, you are thinking more about how to impress the other person. Your focus is on how to get the other person to like you, and you feel nervous because you don’t know how the other person feels.

Think about how long you’ve been in the relationship. Your relationship is pretty new, and while you’re constantly thinking about the other person, you’re not confident that he or she has what it takes to go the distance.

Observe how sex affects your feelings. Sex is exciting, but you feel tentative afterward. You worry about whether your partner found you appealing, and you worry about what the next step after sex will be.

Analyze the way that you’re thinking about the other person. You think constantly about the way that the person smiles, the way he or she says your name or the way that your partner looks at you. You think obsessively about these details, and you try to decide how the person feels about you based on these somewhat trivial qualities.

Look at how you handle conflict. The person you like disagrees with you, and you wonder if the relationship is over. You wonder whether you know the person at all or whether your impressions have been wrong all along.

Consider your feelings about moving the relationship forward. You want to ask the person to date exclusively, but you’re nervous about what he or she might say. You’re afraid that asking for commitment may frighten the person away. Your feelings aren’t deep enough for love; you’re probably more in the realm of infatuation.

Source: http://m.wikihow.com/Know-the-Difference-Between-Love,-Infatuation-and-Lust

How to Recognize True Love

Examine whether you treat the object of your interest as a person or a thing. You care for this person even knowing his or her faults. You are committed to sticking together even through the most difficult circumstances. You can tell this person anything about yourself, even if the truth doesn’t flatter you, and you know that your partner will accept you. Just know that there is no way to make a person love you however actions do speak louder than words. If you are the one always giving and getting very little in return. You might consider asking a trusted family member or friend that has your best interest at heart what they see. Most of the time those on the outside are more likely to see things that you don’t because love is blind.

Evaluate how secure you feel. You know that your partner will stand by you no matter what, and you are prepared to commit to your partner for the rest of your life.

Think about how long you’ve been in the relationship. You have known the person for a long time, and you can’t imagine life without him or her. You want to know everything about the person and want to spend time to get to know them on a deeper level.

Observe how sex affects your feelings. After you have sex with your partner, you feel closer to him or her. For you, affection and post-coital cuddling are just as important as sex, although you love to keep the flame alive. Sex is not the most important part of your relationship and you would still want to be with them even if did not involve sex or you had to wait for them.

Analyze the way that you’re thinking about the other person. Something funny has happened to you at work, and you can’t wait to tell your partner. Alternatively, you’ve had a bad experience, and you want to talk to someone who will understand. If your partner is the first person that you think about when you want to share your innermost thoughts, then you may be in love. You have mutual respect for each other.

Look at how you handle conflict. When you have an argument with your partner, you keep working until you’re able to find some common ground. No argument can erase your commitment to one another, and you appreciate your partner speaking the truth even when it’s painful. Even if you don’t agree with your partner you will always take their side and defend them in front of your family and friends.

Consider your feelings about moving the relationship forward. You feel comfortable with your partner, and you feel a strong bond of trust. Moving in together or getting married feels natural and logical. You want to introduce them to your family and friends.

Source: http://m.wikihow.com/Know-the-Difference-Between-Love,-Infatuation-and-Lust

differences between Infatuation and Love

When we based it in a human dictionary infatuation is an admiration while love is a strong affection. To understand more what are the differences of the two let me share this to you which came from the book i’ve read entitled “I LOVE YOU” by Gordon Martinborough.

1. Infatuation is govern by feelings while in love feelings is under the control of principle - what does it means? Feelings is in charge in the side of infatuation, all we know that feelings easily change like you hug him today for you feel good and tomorrow you feel bad and you spank him right away without any reason..Is that Love? Well, true love has feelings that you actually feel in your heart. It’s not feelings only but plus principles. And the best example of this can be found in the bible that says “Love is patient, love is kind. Love is not jealous, it is not proud, it does not boast. Love is never rude, it is not self-seeking, it is never prone to anger, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth (1 Corinthians 13:4-7).

2. Infatuation is describe as blind while love sees and examines -here it very self explanatory that infatuation looks only the outside happiness like when you know already that your girlfriend/boyfriend involved in a illegal works and yet you still want to marry him that’s a big mistake you’ll ever had. Love does’nt do that thing it will spare time to see and examine the strength and weaknesses of the cited partner to be. Love never feel afraid to ask difficult questions to clear up everything.

3. Infatuation is in a hurry, while love takes time - You have known a person yesterday and you were struck by her beauty and the next day you courted her and the following day you will marry her. It is happening so fast because of the love at first sight thing. In true Love it takes time to know and grow more on the person you want to be with through out your life.

4. Infatuation look externally while love goes internally -infatuation only concerned with the outside beauty of the person like how sexy is the body of that person but in love it is the opposite way because it concerns the inner beauty of the person that’s particularly the virtues and the personality itself.

5. Infatuation is childish while love is mature - self-centered, selfish, unkind this is the childish way where infatuation fall. No concerned on the welfare of the other person because all he wants is just for him. But love is the other way around for it looks first the welfare of the person and think what is good in the future.

6. Infatuation is a human pit while love is a divine ladder - When a person is blinded by infatuation it will never go up instead it falls down to a human pit. But when a person has true love he is climbing the divine ladder that involves effort and determination.

Source: http://www.bubblews.com/news/698002-the-differences-between-infatuation-and-love

1864 Dream SL w/ Bloodlustlena (PART TWENTY-FIVE)

Elena: ~my deep chocolate hues meet Damon’s for a few moments before I reluctantly avert them downward, tucking a strand of fallen hair behind my ear. I keep a few feet distance between me and the tub, still feeling too many conflicting emotions to be too close to Damon in this moment. I pull the towel tighter around me as I watch Stefan attend to Damon. Unable to help myself, I step forward and assist in helping Damon back to his bedroom. Stefan instructs me to get Damon some dry clothes. I do as requested, handing them to Stefan before I turn my back towards him and Damon, waiting with bated breath as Stefan helps change Damon’s clothes. I nibble my lower lip; secretly wishing this was just a moment between Damon and I~ 

Damon: [I watch Elena with jaded eyes as she stands with her back to me as Stefan changes my damp bandages in favor of dry ones. I lay back on my bed once I’m wearing new clothes. My beautiful pale blue hues gazing up at Elena’s back waiting with bated breath for her to turn around and say something to me, but she doesn’t. The silence stretches the longer I wait until it becomes almost unbearable, only breaking once I exhale loudly which draws Stefan’s attention to me with a concerned expression] Would you stop looking at me like that?!! I’m fine!

Elena: ~I instantly turn around at the sound of Damon’s sigh, walking closer to the side of the bed in concern. I exhale silently in relief as Damon reassures that he is fine. My eyes absently become locked with his, sharing an intense gaze as if we were trying to read each other’s thoughts. I’m about to speak when there’s a deep voice heard at the doorway~ “So I see you’ve managed to find your way home, son.” ~we turn to see Giuseppe standing there, a look of indifference on his face, maybe even disappointment. I glance back at Damon, instantly concerned of his safety but Giuseppe surprises us all when he makes a stern request~ “Miss Gilbert.. may I see you in the office downstairs?” ~I swallow thickly, overcome with a nervous uncertainty. I then reply in the calmest voice I can manage~ of course, Mister Salvatore..

Damon: [I start to sit up when Giuseppe enters the room bringing his imposing energy with him but Stefan puts his arm out in front of me preventing me from getting up. My younger brother gives me a stern look and I roll my eyes at him in return. While Stefan and I are having this silent argument between us with just a heated exchange of looks, my father leads Elena down to his office]

Elena: ~I glance back at Damon before Giuseppe and I disappear around the corner. I suddenly become self conscious of my attire, still dressed in my damp undergarments. I pull the towel tighter around me, not feeling very comfortable in Giuseppe’s presence. Once we enter his office, he closes the door and by his stern expression, I begin to feel uneasy. He walks around his desk and sits down, propping his arms on the flat surface, clasping his fingers together~ “what kind of games are you playing here, Miss Gilbert?” ~I furrow my brows in confusion~ I’m not sure I understand what you’re implying, sir.. ~Giuseppe clenches his jaw, narrowing his eyes at me~ “Are you seriously going to play dumb with me, girl?” ~my mouth drops open slightly, surprised by Giuseppe’s choice of words~ “you think I don’t know what’s been going on in this house in the last hour?! I’ve heard everything! You..” ~He points his index finger at me, his eyes an icy glare~ “You come in here, bringing about your /harlot/ ways and I won’t stand for it..”

Damon: [My eyes flicker toward the door as it shuts loudly. My expression falls once I realize Elena and my father were gone, but there’s nothing I can do from here in my weakened state. I motion to Stefan to go after them. He stares at me as if I am insane. I speak in a hushed yet determined tone] Would you just go and try to intercept Elena from father’s wrath?! I’d go myself but I’m unable. [Stefan scoffs] “You’re being rather dramatic, Damon. Father might be stern but he’s fair to /everyone/.. [My eyes narrow as I throw the covers off me] Fine! I’ll go myself! [Stefan starts to panic the moment he sees I’m completely serious] “okay! okay! I’ll go! You really are a stubborn idiot. Miss Gilbert cares more for you than you probably deserve. She’d never want you to die on her behalf!” [Stefan stares at me with an intensity, clearly angry at what I was about to do. He lingers at the doorway for a few moments as if he really doesn’t want to leave me alone but reluctantly disappears through the threshold shutting the door rather loudly behind him]

Elena: ~I feel my heart twinge with guilt at Giuseppe’s harsh words, my eyes instantly glazing over with tears but I refuse to let my true emotions show, not wanting Giuseppe to see any weakness~ it’s not what it seems, Mister Salvatore. There’s more than meets the eye.. And I don’t.. ~Giuseppe cuts me off, raising his voice~ “I don’t /care/ what I do or don’t understand, Miss Gilbert! But I’m going to make something perfectly clear and there will be no /misunderstanding/ on your part!” ~I wait with bated breath for Giuseppe’s demand, having a sense that it was about to crash my entire world~ “I have sent for Mister Donovan. He will be here at any moment to escort you back home.” ~Giuseppe stands and walks over to me, his cold eyes burning fiercely into mine as he leans in so close that I can feel his breaths ghosting across my face. He murmurs in a low, seething tone~ “once you step foot out of this house, Miss Gilbert.. you will /not/ return. And If I hear one word about you being spotted with Damon, I will make sure that becomes your biggest regret!” ~I feel as if the room is spinning, suddenly becoming sickened with grief. My silence tries Giuseppe’s patience as he raises his tone once more, his booming voice almost monstrous~ “is that /understood/, Miss Gilbert?” ~unbeknownst to us, Stefan was listening at the door~

Damon: [Stefan wears a shocked expression hearing his father raise his voice to Elena. He burst in through the door causing Giuseppe’s demeanor to become more demure in the presence of his younger son, in stark contrast to the way he looks at me. Stefan boldly steps in front of Elena] “Father! This is..” [Stefan voice trails off before he quickly motions towards Elena] “She’s a kind young lady, I assure you.” [Giuseppe’s icy expression thaws a bit, displaying a gentleness that is absent in my presence] “Stefan, I’ve had my say.. and that is final. Would you please escort Miss Gilbert to the front door? Mister Donovan shall arrive shortly.”

Elena: ~I gasp at Stefan’s sudden entrance into the room, my eyes widening as he comes to my defense. I frown slightly, lowering my head in shame as he speaks of me in such high praise. I wasn’t entirely sure if I believed that of myself anymore. Stefan sighs sadly and glances back at me when Giuseppe makes his request clear. I just nod, trying to muster a reassuring smile~ it’s fine, Stefan. ~I exhale shakily, glancing over at Giuseppe whose expression hardens once again as a warning towards me~ your father is just protecting your family.. ~with that I turn around and head towards the door~

Damon: [Stefan follows along after Elena. He shuts the door to Giuseppe’s study behind him. His expression reads torn but he pushes that feeling away when he grasps Elena’s arm and starts to drag her back towards my room] “You must tell Damon your /final/ goodbyes! That it’s finished! Or else he’ll surely do what he always does.. Damon doesn’t care if his actions will cause his own demise! He’s willing to exasperate the severity of his injury just in an effort to try and come be with you again.”

Elena: Stefan! ~I gaze at him in shock as he grabs my arms and drags me upstairs, I try to pull away but Stefan is much stronger. I lower my voice in a harsh whisper~ Stefan, if your father catches me up here with your brother, things will get worse! He already made his intentions clear! ~Stefan glances back at me~ “I’ll be your lookout. You’ve got five minutes.” ~he nudges me Inside the bedroom, closing the door behind me to leave us alone. My gaze instantly falls upon Damon,  my heart skipping a beat at the mere sight of him. I wasn’t sure if I could do this~ Hi..

1864 Dream SL w/ Bloodlustlena (PART TWENTY-FOUR)

Damon: [I blink slowly as my narrowed gaze shifts to an uncomfortable looking Stefan who gets the message and decides to step out of the bathroom, leaving us alone for the time being. My hand grasps one of hers placing it against my chest over my heart.] Love is a complicated thing, that’s for certain. [I let my eyes fall closed as my voice displays a teasing tone] But I know one way that you can make me feel better, Miss Gilbert.

Elena: ~I can’t help the small smile that forms on my trembling lips at Damon’s remark. I press my palm more firmly against his chest, closing my eyes as I concentrate on his steady heartbeat. I whisper gently against the portal of his ear~ and what would that be, Mister Salvatore?

Damon: [I laugh softly at Elena, wincing slightly at the pain of doing so] That depends on how bold you are willing to be with an injured gentleman.. Elena.  [I tilt my head backward placing a very suggestive kiss along the column of her slender neck]

Elena: ~my breath catches the moment Damon’s lips meet my delicate neck, unexpected chills instantly flowing through me and I knew it was not the cold water. I realize Damon still has the same effect on me that he did months ago. With his bare back against my chest, I know Damon can feel my heartbeat increase. My eyes fall closed as his name flows from lips in a breathy whisper~ Damon..

Damon: [I forgot about any pain I was feeling the moment my lips met Elena’s neck. A sensation of heat rushed through my veins as my human heart beats wildly in my chest. I pull my lips from her neck, repositioning my lips at her ear, whispering things that would probably be deemed inappropriate if other’s heard me say them. I could sense the effect I was having on Elena and it drove me into a new kind of madness desperate to feel her inviting mouth on mine once again. Within a moment’s notice my deep yearning desire was fulfilled as Elena took charge, attacking my mouth with hers in a very steamy kiss]

Elena: ~my mind is screaming how wrong this is, that I shouldn’t be engaged in such an intimate position with Damon when I’m technically “promised” to Mister Donovan. But my heart and my body are saying something entirely different. The tension and longing of the moment consumes me. I’m unable to resist Damon’s request any longer as my lips crash upon his, not even considering any potential consequences. It’s just me and him. The way it should’ve been all these months. I whimper softly at the contact of his lips, realizing just how much I needed this. My fingers tighten in Damon’s raven locks as I absently pull him closer, deepening the kiss~

Damon: [I grip the edge of the bathtub to gain some leverage, now taking control of the kiss regardless of my injured state. All I knew in these passion fueled moments was that I wanted Elena in every way a man could want the girl of his dreams. Neither of us had noticed that my brother had entered the room until his voice broke the intimacy between us] “Heaven’s sake!!” [I witnessed Elena’s expression form into one of appalled nature at her own actions, now pushing me off her and escaping the tub. I glanced up at her with narrowed eyes, completely ignoring that Stefan was in the room] I had not expected that a kiss like we just shared would result in that kind of horrified expression you now wear upon your face. [I observed Elena’s expression carefully and just as she was about to reply, Stefan abruptly cut her off] “Damon! This is wrong! Miss Gilbert is betrothed to another! What do you not get? Do you not have an ounce of common decency?”

Elena: ~I’m unable to conceal the mortification sketched across my reddened features, my eyes widened as I interrupt Stefan in a firm, shaky voice~ He’s not the one to blame, Stefan! /I/ am! /I’m/ the one that kissed Damon! ~I can feel my heart begin to shatter when I see the look Damon is giving me. It’s as if he believes I’m ashamed of what just happened. Ashamed of /him/. But that was the farthest from the truth. I was secretly cursing myself, berating myself for what I had just done. I knew all too well that if Stefan hadn’t seen us and interrupted, the intimate moment with Damon would’ve become much more heated and explicit. It was like I became completely incoherent in Damon’s presence. I was out of control. My lower lip trembles as the shame begins to eat away at me~ I.. um.. I should go.. ~I don’t look at Damon or Stefan as I rush out of the room, not even bothering to dry off. I’m determined to rush home but I don’t make it any further than the front steps of the Salvatore mansion, collapsing to the steps in tears. I knew I needed to go see Matt, get my thoughts straight. But I couldn’t leave Damon. Not right now when he was so fragile with illness~

Damon: [I have the strong desire to her run after Elena when she rushes from the room, but I’m physically unable to. I shout at Stefan] Go after her!!! You can’t allow her to leave just in her undergarments!! [Stefan seems frozen, and I glare at him for his inaction. He only moves once I start to get up, grabbing a large towel and running out of the bathroom with it. I close my eyes resting my head on the edge of the tub, lightly dozing off]

Elena: “Miss Elena!” ~Stefan’s voice trails off when he busts through the entrance door and sees me sitting on the steps, my knees pulled to my chest as my whole body shivers from the cool air hitting my damp clothes and my quiet sobs. Stefan kneels down and wraps the towel around me~ “I thought you would be gone..” ~I pull the towel tighter around my small frame, the tear streaks along my cheek glistening in the sunlight~ I /should/ be.. but I can’t leave without knowing if Damon is going to be all right.. ~Stefan sighs heavily, staring off into the distance~ “Damon seemed perfectly fine in there to me..” ~I frown deeply, shaking my head~ please don’t.. It wasn’t his fault.. ~Stefan looks at me with surprised eyes~ “how can you defend Damon like that?” ~without hesitation, I reply in a matter of fact tone~ because I love him.

Damon: [Stefan’s green eyes seem to be conflicted as he stares at Elena, unsure of what to say] “Matthew and I, we are fairly close friends.. and.. Miss Elena.. He loves you. You know?” [He stares off trying to find his thoughts] “I.. just.. do not think my brother understands certain things.. he.. uh..” [his voice trails off leaving his thought unfinished. He stands up glancing at Elena] “come along. You’ll catch your death out here wearing only a damp set of clothes.”

Elena: ~I close my eyes, taking in Stefan’s words which only drive the guilt even further through my heart. I murmur softly, all the emotions laced within my voice~ perhaps I’m deserving of death right now.. ~Stefan narrows his eyes, appalled at my confession~ “Don’t you dare say that, Miss Elena!” ~his expression turns somewhat apologetic~ “you could never deserve something like that. .This one mistake doesn’t make you a horrible person.” ~I cringe at Stefan’s use of the word “mistake”, reluctantly standing to my feet to follow Stefan back inside. As he closes the door behind us, I turn to face him~ Stefan, I /do/ care about Matthew. Very much.. ~I swallow thickly, my chocolate hues glistening with confliction~ that’s what makes this so difficult.. no matter what I do.. someone will end up hurt..

Damon: [Stefan gently places a hand on Elena’s shoulder for comfort when words fail him] “I.. I am sure Damon should be checked on..” [His hand lingers a moment too long before he removes it. He motions for Elena to go first as it was customary. I glance up as the door opens, my eyes finding Elena’s as soon as she enters the room. I look tired and a bit uncomfortable, now shivering from being in the chilly bath-water for an extended period of time]

Part Twenty-Five: http://sexygoddamon.tumblr.com/post/82667518214/1864-dream-sl-w-bloodlustlena-part-twenty-five

1864 Dream SL w/ Bloodlustlena (PART TWENTY-THREE)

Elena: ~I can feel myself instantly getting lost in Damon the moment his lips meet mine. All of the intense feelings I had tried so hard to push aside came flooding back in full force. The passion and the fire was reignited within moments and I could’ve happily allowed this sweet yet longing exchange to continue but my mind wouldn’t let me forget the fact it wasn’t right. Not right now. I was with Matt and though my heart belonged to Damon in every way, I wasn’t this kind of person. I refused to treat someone’s feelings so delicately. I reluctantly put a stop to the kiss, my breaths ragged as my heavy eyes give  Damon a narrowed gaze. Before I can explain, Damon shakily admits how he’s feeling in this moment and my heart swells with hope at his somewhat admittance of loving me but at the same time I’m filled with grief, worried about his state of health. I close my eyes as I lean in closer and press my lips to Damon’s extremely warm forehead, whispering~ you’re not going to die. I refuse to let that happen, Damon.. ~my eyes slowly open to meet his once again, getting lost in this moment when Stefan walks in, clearing his throat to break the tension. I glance at him with a guilty expression, withdrawing myself from the closeness with Damon, though my hand remains entwined with his~

Damon: [My eyes narrow at Elena, clear jealousy registers on my peaked face when she mentions something about being with Matt Donovan. I withdraw my hand from hers abruptly, simply resting it against my chest instead. My features  fixated upon her face] My condolences, Miss Gilbert, for my rash behavior. I hadn’t realized Mister Donovan has taken up courting you in my absence. [My face is full of sarcasm as is my tone] I’m sure he makes you blissfully happy and surely he doesn’t parade you about like some pretty trophy. I’m sure he loves you with all his heart.. more than I? Right? [Mostly speaking to myself now] How much of a fool I am.. [Stefan stares bewildered at my tangent as he hands Elena some ice that’s been wrapped in a towel] “I.. uh.. I shall give you two a few more minutes alone!” [Stefan hurriedly opens a window to let cool air in the room before making a hasty exit]

Elena: ~I gaze at Damon sadly, feeling as if my heart was slowly breaking into pieces from his jealous yet broken expression. I then lower my head, murmuring softly~ I’m truly sorry you had to find out this way.. It’s not.. ~I close my eyes, sighing heavily as I try to gather my thoughts~ this isn’t how I imagined it.. ~I discreetly brush away a fallen tear~ none of this is..

Damon: [I stay silent for the lonest time, there was nothing for me to say now. I’d confessed how I felt and that was not going to be enough to change the circumstance between she and I. My eyes fall closed with tears now forming on my dark lashes. I speak in an unsteady voice wishing that I could hide the raw emotion, but I simply can’t] You don’t have to stay here beside me.. Elena. I’m sure my brother will come tend to me and do his best to make sure I don’t perish.

Elena: ~I shake my head without a second thought, my teary eyes lifting to gaze at Damon~ I may be the last person you want to see right now.. and you might even detest me.. ~I exhale shakily, that thought creating a knot in my stomach~ but I’m not leaving you, Damon..

Damon: [I open my eyes fixating them into a heated glare towards Elena. My messy dark hair clinging to my sweat soaked skin. Completely agitated, which sparked that impulsive side, and perhaps  becoming delirious from my rising temperature] oh! Miss Elena Gilbert! Perhaps you may want to invite Mister Donovan over to babysit! [I abruptly sit up motioning towards the door] Perhaps! He can come here and kiss you right in front of me! Show me, /miss/ Gilbert. /Prove/ to me just how much you have TRUELY moved on!! Please! I emplore you! [Before I can continue my tangent any further, I suddenly cover my mouth as I start coughing up a small amount of blood. My face starts to lose color as I fall backwards against the bed with a dull thud. The white bandages that wrapped my bare torso now were discolored with some crimson seeping into them]

Elena: ~my forlorn expression shifts to one of complete panic when I see the state Damon is in, the sound of his straining cough making me tense with worry. I feel Damon’s forehead, noticing how much warmer it’s gotten. I call out in an emotion filled tone~ STEFAN!!! ~I gaze down at Damon, caressing his cheek with the backs of my fingers as I speak to him in a soothing tone~ Damon.. Please calm down.. Just rest your eyes..

Damon: [I open my heavily lidded eyes to glance up at Elena, with labored breaths and dark circles forming underneath my languid stare. My skin was slick with sweat and I felt like I was burning up. Elena then puts the towel covered ice pack upon my forehead and there suddenly seems to be commotion as my brother rushes in the room. There seems to be yelling but for me the noise just drowns out, blending together into a sense of serenity. I become agitated the moment hands are on me willing me to some new location, I try weakly to push them off me but I can’t. I’m being carried somewhere? I don’t know, I can’t seem to focus on any one thing, that is until, there’s freezing cold water everywhere around me. Then within a moments notice there are hands cradling my face, which causes me to panic afraid they might push me underneath the water but my fears were unfounded when a pair of arms encircled me, Elena arms to be precise. The only thing I could really make out right now in my hazy state was Elena’s soft weepy voice saying my name]

Elena: ~shortly after exchanging a few heated words with Stefan, we work together to move Damon into the bathroom. I fill the claw foot tub with cold water and ask Stefan to help untie my dress. He looks at me wide eyed, his expression bewildered. I give him a stern glare~ relax, Stefan! I just need to rid myself of this heavy dress so I can get in there with Damon. ~Stefan hesitates which only agitates me more, making me raise my voice in a very non ladylike manner~ Mister Salvatore! If you don’t man up and help me with this, we’re going to lose your brother! ~surprised by my outburst, he quickly helps me out of my dress, leaving me in my corset and pantaloons. Without hesitation, I slip into the freezing water, barely flinching though it stung like needles pricking every inch of my body. Once I’m settled, Stefan lowers Damon into the water with me, his back pressed against my chest. I comb my fingers through his hair, whispering soothing thoughts into Damon’s ear~ shh. I’m here. You’re going to be all right, Damon. ~A tear slips from the corner of my eye as I close them and press a tender kiss on his temple. Stefan looks on in silence, observing the rather intimate yet gentle state Damon and I were in~

Damon: [I relax once I figure out people aren’t trying to drown me, that everything is okay here, resting comfortably against Elena in a bathtub full of very cold water to help lower my high temperature. My rapid breathing becomes much more normal and calm. After awhile, I manage to find some sense of sanity. My voice is quiet and soft, with subtle sadness there] Elena.. I am a bad influence on you.. Do you not think so? Everyone.. thinks you’ve bent your morality for me.. Mister Donovan.. represents.. all the things I do not. Is that not the reason you’ve chosen him?

Elena: ~my gaze becomes distant as I contemplate Damon’s words, my fingers continuing to soothingly comb through his damp hair. I sigh softly, replying in a meaningful tone~ you can’t /choose/ who you love, Damon.. ~I gently lift the corner of the soaked bandage that’s covering Damon’s wound, inspecting it~ and.. sometimes the things people expect of you.. isn’t what’s always best for you..

Part Twenty-Four: http://sexygoddamon.tumblr.com/post/82544955387/1864-dream-sl-w-bloodlustlena-part-twenty-four

1864 Dream SL w/ Bloodlustlena (PART TWENTY-TWO)

Elena: ~Stefan glances over Damon’s state in worry. He nods and pats his hand in reassurance~ “I’ll go now. I promise not to let you down, brother.” ~Stefan reluctantly leaves Damon’s side and hurries out in search of me. I was in the process of helping my handmaiden do some baking when I heard a knock at the door. I glance towards the doorway, not hearing anyone else making their way towards it so I wipe my hands clean with a nearby hand towel and go to open the door, my eyes widening slightly in surprise when I see Stefan standing there, an almost bewildered expression on his face which instantly panics me~ Stefan, what’s wrong? Is it Damon?!

Damon: [I release a sigh of relief once Stefan agrees to bring Elena to see me. I felt so miserable and probably looked even worse but the thought of seeing her again brought me comfort that I’d not truly felt since the moment I’d left. Those months fighting in the war had been hard on my mind, body, and most of all my soul. I’d probably would have died from such a serious injury had my resolve to live to see Elena had been weakened. She was what kept me going on those endless days where I just wanted to lay down and die with my fallen brethren. The days when I thought I’d be a casualty of war, Elena was my saving grace]

Elena: ~Stefan hesitates his response, the uncertainty written all over his face~ “Damon is back at home.. He’s been shot, Elena.” ~The color drains from my delicate face as I gasp, my hand covering my mouth~ is he.. Is he going to get past this? ~I tuck a strand of my hair behind my ear, my appearance disheveled from the baking I had engaged in just moments before~ “It’s touch and go for Damon right now but so far he’s stable. I hope he’ll make a full recovery.” ~I swallow thickly, fighting back tears as I become determined to not fall apart~ I must see him. Please take me to Damon. ~I call out to Elizabeth, my handmaiden, telling her that I’ll be leaving with Stefan and will return later. I don’t even care about my less than desirable appearance, Damon being the only thing on my mind~

Damon: [I close my eyes, breathing steadily as I simply wait for Stefan to arrive with Elena. A small smile curving my lips at the prospect. After a few minutes I drift into sleep, only to be awoken when I hear the door to my room crash open when Elena rushed through the entrance, but she just stands there frozen staring at me with wide tearful eyes. I slowly glance up at her with beautiful silvery pale blue hues through my dark lashes. I give her a drowsy smile as I extend my hand] Elena..
Elena: ~the strong facade I was determined to keep up was completely obliterated the moment I laid eyes on Damon. Being in the same room with him after not seeing each other for months on end was enough to make the old feelings come rushing back. The same feelings I had tried so hard to bury as I had tried to move on. A tear absently slips down my cheek as I make my way to the bed that Damon was lying on, my hand instantly grabbing his gently as I sat down next to him. I close my eyes, my thumb caressing the top of his hand as I compose myself before speaking in a soft, shaky voice~ you always have to go and do something rebellious don’t you, Damon? ~my lips curve into a half smile~

Damon: [I laugh softly at Elena’s assessment of my character] How astute of you, Miss Gilbert. [My eyes shimmer with light amusement layered over with genuine adoration. My eyes meet hers, searching them. I lightly grasp her wrists doing my best to gently encourage Elena to lay down beside me, but she removes her hands from my grasp staring down at me. I swallow thickly at her sudden distance, my human heart thudding in my chest. I let my hands fall onto the bed no longer trying to coax Elena any nearer than was of her own desire. I speak softly, vulnerability lingering just beneath the surface] I’ve missed you.. Elena..

Elena: ~my hesitant expression softens at Damon’s words, my voice barely a whisper as I reply~ I’ve missed you too.. ~I search his questioning crystal blue orbs as I rest my hands in my own lap, feeling somewhat vulnerable now that I’m not holding his hands. I nibble on my lower lip nervously before continuing~ I keep thinking about our last night together.. I had revealed to you some very.. heavy feelings. ~I sigh softly, glancing down at Damon’s wounded abdomen, my shaky hand lifting and almost touching it, wanting to make sure it looked okay but I rest my hand along Damon’s hips instead~ but before I could give me a response, you had fainted. And everything was chaos. ~a sarcastic laugh flows from my lips before my expression shifts to a more somber one; my voice conveying the raw emotions that had dwelled within me for months~ I was worried sick.. and I woke up to the news that you were gone..~my glistening eyes fill with a sadness and hurt I hadn’t shown to anyone recently~ without a word from you, Damon. I honestly didn’t know what to believe.. ~I exhale shakily, my fingers fiddling with the sheet that’s draped over Damon~ a lot has changed since you’ve been gone..

Damon: [My dark raven curls seem to cling to my clammy skin, I’m honestly not feeling very well, perhaps a bit feverish but I’m determined to keep my faculties about me so I may speak with Elena honestly] Elena.. I know you must be terribly upset with my abrupt departure but I simply /could not /change/ my circumstance. [I sigh softly] Things have changed, have they? If true, why did you come running to my side so quickly? Do you feel so differently now than you had before? ]I swallow down the lump forming in my throat as my gaze veers off, staring at nothing in particular] You know one thing.. kept me going through all those endless days? One thought kept me from just laying down and dying out there on that bullet-ridden battlefield.. [my cerulean hues that were as turbulent as the violent oceans they resembled flickered to meet Elena’s dark velvety chocolate ones] you..

Elena: ~my heart fills with heavy emotions at Damon’s confession, the confliction yet undeniable love shining in my cocoa spheres. I absently grasp his hand, glancing down at our intertwined fingers as I hold back the tears threatening to fall~ I came here because I still care very deeply for you, Damon.. and I needed to see you.. ~I inhale shakily, slowly lifting my eyes to gaze at Damon’s pale tho still extremely handsome features, a forlorn expression clouding my own delicate face. I begin to confess the changes in my life but I notice how sickly Damon looks, beads of sweat forming along his brow. My gaze turns to one of concern as I lean forward to investigate further~ Damon.. ~I lift my hand, letting the back of it feel Damon’s forehead, instantly catching on to how warm he feels~ something isn’t right..

Damon: [My mind is not on the fever I’ve developed, or the pain from being shot. All I can think of is one thing in this moment, her lips on mine. As Elena leans down and presses the back of her hand to my overheated forehead I do what I wanted to do the moment she walked through the door, I pull her down into a passionate kiss with what strength I have left. After several long intense moments she reluctantly breaks free from the kiss that threatened to consume her, I could tell Elena was frustrated with me which only made me want to kiss her even further but I didn’t possess the strength required to exert as much energy as kissing her the way I wanted to demanded. The kind of kiss where two souls shared not only a connection but their very spirit, one that left them completely barren and exposed to the other’s heart and soul. It might have been the fiery kiss we’d just shared or perhaps the fever at work but I felt very hot with beads of sweat now rolling down my neck but my vivid blue hues spoke differently in contrast to my tired body, they were eyes that were almost wild and desperate] If I am to die right this very moment at least I’d have died knowing love. Knowing you!

Part Twenty-Three: http://sexygoddamon.tumblr.com/post/82541555177/1864-dream-sl-w-bloodlustlena-part-twenty-three

1864 Dream SL w/ Bloodlustlena (PART TWENTY-ONE)

Elena: ~The concern in my expression can’t be hidden, Stefan taking notice instantly~ Miss Elena, I’m sure Damon is fine. ~he gives my arm a reassuring squeeze~ “it’s a war. Damon won’t always have the time write..” ~I nod, giving a half though not so convincing—-smile~ I understand. Damon has just been fairly consistent with his letters. ~Stefan looks as if he’d like to say something else, but Matt emerges from the general store, questioning my expression and the conversation Stefan and I were just having~ “why such the forlorn faces? Did Miss Caroline start a new chain of gossip?” ~Matt chuckled light heartedly, leaving me to broaden a feigned smile, glancing at Stefan then at Matt~ yes. That’s exactly what has occurred.

Damon: [Suddenly someone injects me with something that makes me feel very loopy. I grasp onto what seems like clothes loosely as I’m hoisted up onto a stretcher that’s transporting me someplace. After a minute or so someone is speaking to me but I can’t seem to focus on them to actually make out any of their words]

Elena: ~We make small talk with Stefan until Matt realizes he forgot one more thing. He gives me a chaste kiss on the lips before disappearing back into the general store. I keep my eyes downward, my cheeks display a light shade of pink as I feel Stefan’s curious eyes on me~ “are you.. happy… with Mister Donovan?” ~I glance up at Stefan in surprise, my voice hesitant and appalled~ I can’t believe you’d ask me that, Stefan.. ~I try to continue but no words follow. Stefan arches a brow in amusement~ “That’s not exactly an answer.” ~I shake my head, defiance in my eyes though something else lies deep within my chocolate hues and Stefan takes notice~ I don’t owe you any answers, Mister Salvatore. ~Stefan smirks a bit, his tone teasing~ “ah, so we’re back to formalities.” ~His smirk disappears after a few moments, making his expression more serious~ “I know that night we found you and Damon together, it looked much worse than the actuality of the situation. I admit I was wrong to jump to conclusions.” ~My eyes soften slightly as I lower my head, recalling the events of that night. I nod before Stefan continues~ “I saw the way you would looked at Damon. Those kind of feelings do not just fade away..” ~I cut off his words, a determination now in my eyes~ you’re right. I care about Damon.. very much so.. it’s why I’ve continued to inquire about him. But.. ~I swallow thickly, remembering how Damon and I never got a proper goodbye. He just left. My eyes begin to glisten but I don’t shed a tear~ Damon left.. He didn’t even make an /attempt/ to let me know what was to become of him. Or let me know of his feelings towards me. It’s been months, Stefan. Months.. ~I take in a shaky breath, about to confess to Stefan that I had made the decision to wait on Damon only weeks after he had left but my parents urged the relationship with Matt. With Damon not around, it made it hard to defy my parents. My heart still beat for Damon Salvatore. But I could never confess that. I close my eyes, deciding against my words~ I’m determined to move on, Stefan.. ~he starts to tell me of how Damon had written a letter to me before he left and it strangely disappeared, but Matt interrupts, beckoning me to accompany him~

Damon: [I turn my head letting it rest at a comfortable position as I am lost in a haze of whatever drug they had injected me with. The world around me was mostly just a blur. I hadn’t noticed that my suitcase had been put in the carriage with me. I hadn’t known I was going home. My unfocused eyes were glazed over as I just stared off into the distance, my mind lightly grasped onto a singular memory: Elena’s face the very last time I saw her]

Elena: ~I walk into the Gilbert manor after having said goodbye to Matt, slowly closing the door behind me as my mind instantly goes to Damon. I fall back against the door, my eyes distant. I don’t even hear my mother’s cheerful voice at first as she comes down the stairs to greet me~ “Elena, dear! How was your outting with Mister Donovan?” ~it takes a few moments for my mind to register her words. I glance up at her, confusion in my eyes~ I’m sorry, Mother. Did you say something? ~Her smile falters, looking at me with concern~ “is everything alright, darling?” ~I furrow my brows, unsure of this nagging pit in my stomach that insinuated something was wrong. Images of Damon fill my thoughts~ I’m not sure..

Damon: [After several days of falling in and out of a conscious state, I find myself in pain everytime the carriage hits a bump in the road. I grip the edge of the seat every single time a sharp pain emanates from the bullet wound, it’s a wonder it hadn’t killed me already but somehow I’d survived. Finally the bumpy ride comes to a stop and I look up to see a familiar face peering inside. Worry etched upon every feature, most prominently in his expressive emerald hues. I give him a weak smile] Brother..

Elena: ~I brush past my mother, walking into the living room as I rub my hands together nervously, my cocoa spheres flickering to the dancing flames in the fireplace. I hear my mother follow me into the room~ “Is Matthew alright?” ~I sigh softly, dropping my head~ Mister Donovan is perfectly fine. I’m honestly not certain what’s bothering my spirits today..

Damon: [I wait eagerly expecting my father to show with concerned face, but he doesn’t. My brother is the only one here to take charge. I give him a grateful smile as he gets the soldiers that had accompanied me to transport me to my room. My brother sits at my side nervously] “What the hell happened?” [I laugh softly now holding my side as pain spills into my expression] I was in a war, idiot. [I glance up at him hopefully] Did Elena receive my letter?

Elena: ~Stefan genuinely smiles at Damon’s sarcasm, realizing how much he had missed it and how grateful he was to still have his brother. But that smile soon disappears when Damon mentions the letter. Stefan glances down nervously, unable to meet his brother’s hopeful cerulean hues as he confesses~ “No. Unfortunately I was unable to get the letter to Miss Elena..” ~he continues in a rambling manner~ “I.. I don’t understand what.. what happened, Damon. I had placed it on.. my nightstand..planning to deliver it at sun rise..and.. “~Stefan closes his eyes, exhaling shakily as he runs his fingers through his hair~ “and when I awoke.. it was.. it was gone.” ~Stefan finally gathers the nerve to glance up at Damon’s expression, his eyes deeply apologetic towards him as he murmurs softly~ “I am so sorry, brother.”

Damon: [I become quite agitated when I learn that Elena had not gotten my heartfelt letter. I exhale deeply as my mind starts to piece together the truth of the matter. I felt a sinking feeling as I pondered my father’s actions and his absence upon my return. It felt so heart-wrenching when your own parent regarded you, their child, so apathetically. This absenteeism was probably worse than anything else that he had done to me in the past. I blink slowly trying to clear my vision without much success, the pain just felt too real in this moment, unable to shield it from my watery eyes. My attention is then drawn to Stefan who looks visibly upset] It’s fine, brother. Don’t worry about it. [My voice softens] okay? [I seem almost apprehensive to ask but I just have to release my thought aloud] Do you.. uh.. think Miss Gilbert..[my expression is very gentle as I speak very softly] Elena.. would come see me?

Elena: ~Stefan’s hazel orbs become distant for a moment as he contemplates telling Damon about the changes that have occurred but he decides against it, for now. He puts on a gentle smile, speaking softly~ “I’m sure Miss Elena would love to see you. In fact, we crossed paths this morning in the town square and she was inquiring about you. I think she was concerned.”

Damon: [My skin seems very pale as my eyes fall closed, my voice a raspy whisper with an urgency in my voice] I /need/ to see Elena, Stefan. What if I should succumb to my injuries.. what if I.. [my words trail off. Seconds later I open my eyes fixating them upon Stefan, with sheer determination swirling within light blue hues] You go fetch her right now.. or I shall get up this very instant and go myself!

Part Twenty-Two: http://sexygoddamon.tumblr.com/post/82522926889/1864-dream-sl-w-bloodlustlena-part-twenty-two